


all is calm, all is bright

by brahe



Series: brahe's 2017 advent bingo [7]
Category: Star Wars: Rebels
Genre: Baby, Bittersweet, Blind Kanan Jarrus, F/M, Family Bonding, Father-Daughter Relationship, Fluff and Angst, Mostly Fluff, Parenting Woes, Some angst, Space family, The Force, ac2017, adventchallenge, i think i'm gonna make that my tag for him, kanera baby!, ultra dad kanan, ultra space dad kanan
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-07
Updated: 2017-12-07
Packaged: 2019-02-10 17:09:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,505
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12916434
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brahe/pseuds/brahe
Summary: It's weird, he thinks, to know that this child is half of him and half of Hera, that when he calls her his daughter it's not just in name.





	all is calm, all is bright

**Author's Note:**

> lol so i didn't really mean to write 1500 words about kanan and a baby but?? this happened. no idea what the timeline for this is supposed to be except sometime after he's trained with the bendu. writing this was kind of a challenge bc i didn't want to name the baby and he's blind and i've never written a blind character before. no offense intended for those who know more about the condition than i do.  
> this was a nice break from all the hardcore fluff i've been doing for this challenge so far. i'm literally so bad at just straight up fluff. flangst or hurt/comfort is much more my style.  
> featuring more of my inability to give things summaries
> 
> anyway, today's prompt is "silent night" and the title's from that song

She looks a lot like him, so he's been told. Dark hair already covering her little head, and eyes like his used to be. He knows her skin is green like Hera's, has clung to the memory of the color like few other things. Sabine says she's got Hera's nose, and when he gently traces his fingers along the ridge, he can feel the familiar shape. She's small, too, fits snuggly in between his hand and the crook of his elbow, and warm, warmer than Twi'lek babies usually are. So Hera has told him.

  
Kanan spends a lot of time holding his daughter. He stays up late, rocking her until she falls asleep and then settling in himself, listening to her breaths, focused on the feeling of her pressed against his chest. Hera warns him that he'll make a habit of it for her, but he can't imagine ever truly minding the way she likes to sleep against his chest with her head over his heart.

  
It's where he is now - the commons room has been decorated for the coming Life Day more than usual, extra lights and strands of garland because it's their daughter's first. He knows the string lights are on because he can hear them, the quiet electrical buzzing they emit when plugged in going steady against the background noises of the ship. He wonders what it looks like, the two of them bathed in the soft light from the decorations.

  
It's far from being as intense as it used to be, but he still wishes that he could see her, see her smile and cry and fall asleep, see the way she looks when Sabine paints the traditional Twi'lek patterns against her tummy, the way she looks bundled in her mother's arms. He can already tell now that she'll be Force sensitive - he feels her presence like a brilliant beacon in the night, can sense her emotions. But he'll never know how his daughter looks to other people, never know what happiness looks like on her face. It sets a wild tightness in his chest, when he can feel the adoration she sends in waves as Ezra holds her but can't see it, when he hears her giggles high and bright above Zeb's laughs as he bounces and swings her around.

  
And sometimes it grips him like it does now, a deep aching settling in between his ribs, squeezing his heart. She's still awake, despite the late hour, sitting in his lap and talking softly to herself, half-formed gibberish as she plays with his fingers. He smooths the palm of his free hand over her head and she stills beneath it. He imagines she's blinking at him, wide and curious; the others have told him she's always watching everything with big, careful eyes.

  
Her Force signature is reaching out for him, twirling and twisting around it haphazardly, clumsily, and oh, he realizes, that must be it. She's already rather attuned to the feelings of those around her, particularly Kanan and Ezra because of the Force, and he'd been struck rather hard by the longing to see her.

  
"I'm alright, my dear," he tells her in a whisper, focuses on sending calming, gentle feelings to her. He runs a hand over her head again and then traces his fingertips along the edge of her face, across her chin and back around, drawing a line down her nose and across her mouth, brushing the backs of his fingers against her cheeks. It's something he started almost immediately after she was born, tracing her features by touch to make a mental image of her the best he can, and she always sits still and quiet as he does so, their Force signatures entwined.

  
She settles down after that, lays her cheek against his chest as he sits back, and not long later she's fast asleep, tiny fingers still wrapped tightly around one of his own. He rubs his thumb lightly against her fist and wonders what he did to deserve this. They took a risk, of course, by having her, but there's nothing in the galaxy that could convince him to go back and change his mind.

 

 

Morning finds him waking slowly, unsure of what dragged him back to unconsciousness, until he senses Hera watching him. He offers her a small smile, still half asleep, and stifles a yawn, careful not to jostle the bundle still sleeping on his chest.

  
"Late night?" Hera asks quietly, and Kanan hears her footsteps, the soft noises that accompany making tea.

  
"Not particularly," he says, rubs his hand up and down their daughter's back. She'll be awake soon, too, he can tell, but he urgers her to stay sleeping.

  
"You two make quite the sight," Hera says. He can hear the smile in her voice, feel the love that surrounds her presence like an aura. Her feet shuffle quietly against the floor again, and her hand is on his shoulder before she's pressing a kiss to his forehead, his lips.

  
The baby stirs against him, then, and Hera chuckles softly, kisses the top of her head. She's blinking awake a moment later, and as soon as she sees Hera she wiggles around, arms outstretched. Hera laughs, reaches down to lift her daughter from Kanan's arms.

  
"Good morning, my love," she says, kisses both of her cheeks before settling her on her hip, arm around her back, and returns to making her tea. "Daddy stayed up late with you last night, didn't he," she says, and there's a string of baby gibberish in response.

  
Kanan watches them through the Force - Hera, a non-sensitive, has a fainter, whisp-like gentle glow, like wind with color and texture. Their daughter shines beside her, a bright white light concentrated in such a small space, although she's constantly reaching out, tendrils of light searching for familiar feelings in the Force.

  
Speaking of.

  
"Ezra's up," Kanan tells Hera, and a minute later his padawan steps into the galley.

  
His entrance is accompanied by a series of bubbly, excited sounds, and Ezra laughs.

  
"Hey there, little sister," he says, and Kanan imagines Ezra's taken the baby from Hera, considering the sudden closeness of their signatures. Ezra likes to brag about being the favorite sibling, puffing up with pride when he can get her to smile or laugh or calm down. It's true that when they both need to leave, Kanan and Hera usually put Ezra in the babysitting role; Kanan knows much of it has to do with the easy way they can communicate, as Force-sensitives, but he also knows there's more than that. Ezra's easy to like, and it makes his heart swell to know his daughter and his padawan already get along so well.

  
Ezra slides into the booth next to him, chatting away as though he understands the baby babble, and Kanan loses himself a little in the warm, happy feeling that's swelling in the room, the easy contentment of family. Hera jostles him back to reality for a moment when she sits down on his other side, pressing the sides of their bodies together, curling herself into him a little, and he lets his arm fall around her shoulders as he sinks back into the moment.

  
"I can watch her for a while if you guys want to get some sleep," Ezra says eventually. Kanan honestly has no idea how long has passed, but he's guessing Hera has finished her tea by now. He really should get some real sleep in an actual bed, so he squeezes Hera's shoulder and the two side out from behind the table.

  
"Thanks, kiddo," he says, reaches out to ruffle Ezra's hair as he walks by, remembering too late that it's too short to do that to now. He misses in his aim just a little, hits Ezra's forehead before running his fingers through the short strands anyway. He feels Ezra lean into his hand just a bit, and there's a wave of compassion from both sides that floods their Force bond.

  
"Get us up in a few hours," Hera tells him, "earlier if there's any trouble."

  
"There won't be any trouble," Ezra says, laughter in his tone. "Now go. Sleep."

  
"Yes, sir," Hera chuckles, grabs Kanan's hand as she leads them to their quarters. He knows the walk, can do it without the help, but her hand is a familiar, comfortable weight in his own, and he lets himself be led, for once not worrying about watching for what's around him.

  
Hera pushes him through the door first when it hisses open, and he collapses face first onto the mattress, shuffles around a bit when Hera pushes at his side. She slides into the bed beside him, tugs the covers up around herself and tucks herself into Kanan's side, and he's passed out by the time she gets herself comfortable. She laughs quietly to herself and snuggles in a little further, drifts off quickly to thoughts of the beautiful little family they've made for themselves.

**Author's Note:**

> sidenote, i knew kanan was gonna be blinded before i started watching the show, but i just actually watched the episode and i'm!!!!! that was so much. just. so much. i'm wrecked. expect some angsty h/c for whole mess once i'm done with this advent bc hooooooooooooooly jesus i'm so emotional


End file.
